Leo Henrik Blaylock

Guess what? We had a baby. Meet Leo Henrik Blaylock. Born March 21st at 11:59 am in City Hospital Dubai weighing 3.34 kgs. Here are 21 things from the last 9+ months I want to remember.

Pregnancy

I never liked the idea of being pregnant before I was pregnant. I always wanted kids, but pregnancy always seemed so strange to me. As it turns out, I really enjoyed being pregnant and have a whole new appreciation for it.  To the extent that I told Ben after delivery that I missed it! Sometimes I surprise myself.  

Seven things to remember:

1. Ben knew I was pregnant before I did. He was sitting at work one day last July when a wave of inspiration came over him and he realized he was going to be a father.  He picked up a pregnancy test on his way home from work and timidly asked me to take it that night after dinner. Of course I thought he was crazy. And of course the pregnancy test was positive.  He also predicted that night we would have a boy.

2. I really enjoyed sharing "secrets" with only Ben. We didn't tell anyone I was pregnant until I was 14 weeks along. Up until that point, we referred to our "Bali trip" anytime we were in public to make sure the secret was safe. We were going to the US in September and wanted to tell our families and as many friends in person before doing any public announcement. It was fun to have that time where only we knew we were expecting. We also didn't reveal his name until Leo was born.  It gave us one final secret to share the entire pregnancy.

3. My family was stunned when the "Ron roast" by Ben for my dad's 70th birthday party turned into a pregnancy reveal.  Ben first had the idea to roast my dad in June while we were party planning from a cruise ship in Norway (before I was ever pregnant).  My family was opposed to the idea from the beginning and flat out nervous about it the day of the event. Being diplomatic, I initially told Ben it wasn't a good idea... up until we needed a way to surprise my family. Then it was perfect. 

4. Leo always used to get the hiccups in utero. And now he gets them all the time outside of the womb. It's his signature move. I remember the first time I felt him move (and the first time pregnancy seemed real to me) was in October when Ben was camping in Oman with our Swiss friend Matthieu. It was then a few more months before Ben could feel him kick, but I loved sharing that with him.

5. Ben sang "Little Seeds" and talked to Leo almost every night before we went to bed. A coworker recommended he do this to familiarize Leo with his voice. He also wanted to conduct an "experiment" to see if Leo would recognize this particular song after he was born.  Ben has a calming effect on Leo now, so I'd say mission accomplishment.

6. The best thing I ever did was change doctors.  I started with Dr. Annabelle Pollard when Dr. Deemah Salem (my first choice) was on vacation around the time of an eight week appointment and then fully booked out for a few month.  Annabelle was... fine. Ben will never forgive her for the most understated reaction to finding a heartbeat the first appointment (i.e. she said nothing until he asked if that was a heartbeat). We tried Dr. Deemah in November and then switched to her full-time by the end of the year.  She is the best. I now have one more incentive to not leave Dubai before we finish having kids because I want her as my doctor every time.

7. Along the scale of hard to easy, I had a pretty great pregnancy. The first trimester was probably the most challenging. All food sounded horrible aside from fruit. I never really had cravings, but some foods I tolerated more than others. We went to Sicily in August... and I still joke that the pizza there is the worst. ;) I never really got morning sickness, but threw up maybe four times in the evening on my way home from work - usually triggered by a bumpy Uber or Jeep ride. The second trimester was a dream.  I felt almost completely like myself with plenty of energy plus a small bump.  And the third trimester wasn't too bad aside from the last few weeks where my body became more swollen. The main symptom I had throughout was my feet and occasionally hands would swell during the day while I was at work. But they usually reset overnight and on the weekends.

~34 weeks pregnant

Delivery

A lot people get nervous about labor and delivery, but I really wasn't. Being a first timer, I had no idea what to expect. So I decided that rather than worrying about what was completely unknown and out of my control I would just roll with it when the time came.  I also never really put together a birth plan, but explored different options ahead of time and kept an open mind. The only thing I felt strongly about was not wanting a c-section.  Over 40% of deliveries are c-sections in the UAE!  And I felt the need to proactively avoid that.

Seven things to remember:

1. I never had a single braxton hicks contraction before labor. At my last several doctors appointments, my Doctor would always say "nothing yet?" Nope. 

2. I was convinced I would go two weeks late. Usually first time moms go later and I felt like I could be pregnant forever (see point #7 above).  My doctor was going on vacation for two weeks shortly after my due date, so I had an incentive not to go too late though.

3. Instead, Leo arrived three days before his due date (March 24). The first sign I had of any change in my body was March 13. After my first cervical exam at 38 weeks, I had mild cramping and spotting on my drive home from work two nights in a row. That went away by Friday. The next sign was on March 17 when I lost my mucus plug. And then I officially started early labor (but didn't know it at the time because I had no idea what labor was) the night of March 19 around 8 PM while talking to my sister Karen on the phone. And I was in active labor by the time we went to the hospital the morning of the 21st.

4. We were those first time parents who went to the hospital not once, but twice. We went on Tuesday night because I was regularly having contractions every 5 - 7 minutes... but I was only dilated to 1 cm and in early labor.  We then went back the next night over 24 hours later (steady contractions every 5 -7 minutes intensifying over time persisted that whole time) and this time I was 5 cm and in active labor.

5. I got an epidural at around 5 am in the morning. It enabled me to finally sleep 1.5 hours (I hadn't slept at all that night or much the night before since we got home from the hospital at 2 am).  It also allowed me to watch my Thunder game in peace.  I haven't watch a full Thunder game since... so it's good I snuck one more in. :)

6. The only thing I didn't want, but almost had to have, was a c-section. Leo was in the occiput transverse position during delivery. His heart rate was also dipping some so the doctor was concerned about letting me push for too long. She warned me early on while pushing that it was possibility due to his position and then at some point she said I would have ~3 more tries before we'd have to switch gears. I don't know if she was just saying this to motivate me (I know it was more than that), but it worked. Right at the end Leo shot out like a football.  It took a little help (kiwi vacuum, episiotomy), but he arrived safe and sound and I managed not to get a c-section. I told Ben afterwards he probably has a better sense of my delivery than I do. I compare it to being the actress in a movie (and never getting to watch the movie) vs. the actual movie goer watching the entire show.

7. One thing I like about our hospital is the baby stays with you the entire time.  Immediately after delivery they give the baby to the mom and let him stay there for "the golden hour." Given Leo had a bit of a dramatic entrance, there was a pediatrician on hand who quickly checked him out. But other than the five minutes he was with the pediatrician, he was with us (and not in a nursery) the entire hospital stay.

The first weeks

When we sent out a birth announcement this week one of our friends responded, "newborns are the best/worst." I couldn't have said it better myself haha.  I've spent a lot of time with kids over the years, but newborns are completely foreign to me.  I've always said newborns just need to be with their mom (parents)... and now I'm the mom.

Seven things to remember:

1. Sleep. I want to remember what it's like to get a full night's sleep.  I have never been more sleep deprived in my life than the first week of Leo's life. I already had a slept debt heading into parenthood (two consecutive nights at the hospital prior to delivery), then we slept a bit the first night after he was born, and then Leo hardly slept at all the second night as he was more interested in cluster feeding. So over those four days I probably slept a bit more than what I used to sleep in one night. My doctor visited me both mornings in the hospital. During her final visit, her parting advice to me and Ben was "it's okay to cry." I'm so glad she said that because we had a lot of tears the first week. Some of that is due to hormones, but I think most of it was due to functioning on such low sleep. 

2. Breastfeeding is hard. For being an essential part of life, God really engineered this to be tricky.  It was especially stressful the first couple of days when I couldn't get Leo to latch and he would just be screaming.  We saw a lactation consultant the Monday after he was born and she gave me nipple shields which have turned out to be a cheat code. Once we got the hang of things, it definitely helped with his sleep too.

3. Less than 24 hours after delivery I went to get out of my hospital bed and couldn't lift my legs. My strong pain meds had worn off and apparently I injured my pubis symphysis during delivery (overstretched the ligament in the center of my pelvis). For the first week or so Ben had to help me lift my legs in and out of bed, roll over in bed, get out of chairs, get in and out of cars, etc. Not fun. It made nighttime especially collaborative because Ben had to get up every time with me. We saw an orthopedic doctor who said that recovery times vary, but it should hopefully take 4 - 6 weeks to recover.  I just needed to limit my walking, sleep on my back, ice, and generally avoid aggravating it.  I can say that by the second week I was already doing much better.

4. It was more complicated than usual to get a birth certificate for Leo. Typically you just need an attested marriage certificate and a few other documents and it's fine. But a gentleman at the Ministry was hung up on the fact that my maiden name on my marriage certificate (Bjorkman) did not match my married name on my passport (Blaylock).  After multiple interactions with the Ministry, Dubai courts, and US consulate, a lucky phone call ended up saving us.

5. It felt like we left the house so often the first week for different appointments. We went to doctors for my injury, different appointments for Leo (e.g. dermatologist to check out his port wine stain, pediatrician), and a couple of trips to deal with the birth certificate. If I had a do-over I'd try not to leave the house for the first week to get everyone in a routine.

6. On top of everything, Ben probably had his most stressful couple of weeks at work since joining Marriott 4+ years ago. I won't include the details, but it's amazing that the five things listed above were not that stressful to Ben in comparison.

7. Last but not least, and most importantly, we are completely in love with Leo. He is the cutest little boy and so sweet. No one sufficiently warned us how challenging it is to parent a newborn, but I also don't think we could've prepared for how quickly he'd win us over. I love nursing and rocking him and watching him grow. Welcome to the world, little lion man. We love you always and forever.