Annika Ruth Blaylock

Guess what? We had another baby. Another baby means another blog post, so here I am blogging for the first time in 2.5 years. Meet Annika Ruth Blaylock. Born August 21st at  3:45 pm in City Hospital Dubai weighing 2.79 kgs. Here are 21 things from the last 9+ months I want to remember.

Pregnancy

1. I broke Ben’s one rule, but it worked out anyway. Ben says I am never supposed to take a pregnancy test without him so that he can be part of the moment. I woke up one January morning and thought I could be pregnant. Ben was still sleeping and, since I’m impatient, I found an old pregnancy test in the bathroom cupboard and took it. Negative. When Ben woke up, I told him I broke the rule… but the test was negative. He insisted I take another test, so we went to the pharmacy, bought a test, and took it at home. Positive! I went back to the trash to prove to Ben that the other test was negative. BUT in the meantime it had turned positive. I’m glad it worked out the way it did so Ben could be part of the moment. Lesson learned: throw away expired products in bathroom cabinets. 

2. We embraced our #PandemicBaby by doing our pregnancy announcement over zoom for my family. After covid started, my parents held a weekly family zoom on Sunday evenings our time. Leo’s birthday happened to be on a Sunday, so we invited everyone to hop on zoom 30 minutes early for a brief birthday celebration. Everyone sang happy birthday to Leo, he blew out his candles, and ate a cream puff. We then had him unwrap one present and hold it up to the screen. The pink bear had a tag around it that said “Little Sister.” 

3. I lied to get vaccinated for COVID-19. Ben and I had covid in May 2020, so I wasn’t too worried about being pregnant during the pandemic. I still wanted the vaccine to be extra safe and, admittedly, to travel freely in the summer. At the time I became pregnant, Dubai prohibited pregnant women from being vaccinated and Pfizer was not readily available. I got lucky in March when my work offered me the vaccine. I had to lie to the person who gave me the shot (they ask if you are pregnant as one of 10+ questions before giving the shot). I felt guilty the first time, but when I read between the lines of my doctor’s email afterwards I realized I did exactly what I needed to do. Today all pregnant women are now strongly encouraged to get vaccinated. 

4. I blame my imperfect diet in 2021 on morning sickness. I had the epiphany that, unlike the stomach flu, the key to combating morning sickness is to always have something on your stomach. Food became increasingly unappealing to me in my first trimester. At one appointment, my doctor said, “if you have to eat ice cream for breakfast then just do it.” And thus began my sugar meltdown. I didn’t eat ice cream for breakfast, but I occasionally had it as a dinner substitute. In general, my diet this pregnancy was not nearly as clean as last time. And it all started with the slippery slope of thinking it was okay to eat ice cream for breakfast.

5. I chose not to go to Hawaii at 31 weeks pregnant. Who cancels a trip to Hawaii with your accommodation already paid for? I hated to be the buzzkill for Ben and his family (his parents went anyway), but overcoming jet lag during the second half of August only to have a baby in September did not seem ideal. I felt good about it at the time. I felt even better about the decision on August 21st. And our stopovers in Iceland and Denmark on the way home from our annual trip to the US made our jet lag adjustment in Dubai a breeze compared to past years.

6. This pregnancy became increasingly uncomfortable in my third trimester. One day I tweaked my lower back while carrying two laptops in a heavy workbag from the parking lot to my office. Shortly after tweaking my back, I had to work from home for a week due to COVID contract tracing. That turned out to be a blessing because I could ice my back throughout the day. I also woke up almost every night in the middle of the night to pee. Sometimes I fell asleep again easily, other times it was more difficult. I started getting really itchy at night at around 34/35 weeks, which also made sleep harder. Ben teased me about buying a pregnancy pillow this time around, but it helped me get more sleep.

7. Our plans went out of the window the day of my 36 week appointment. Our baby was breech at 28 weeks (my doctor wasn’t worried). Then at my 30 week appointment in the US (the doctor I saw there wasn’t worried - “it’s still early”). Then at 32 weeks (the substitute doctor I saw in Dubai while my doctor was on leave said it wasn’t ideal but there was still time). And then again at 34 weeks. At that appointment, we talked to my doctor about different options as it was increasingly unlikely our baby would flip our her own. We spent most of my 36 week appointment talking about what do for our still breech baby - the downsides of c-section, the potential complications of an ECV, and so on. In the end, we opted for doing an ECV at 37 weeks and agreed our baby would come at 39 weeks either way (by c-section if she was still breech or by induction if the ECV worked to make sure she didn’t flip again). 

At the beginning of my 36 week appointment, I mentioned two other issues bothering me: my aching lower back and itching at night. My doctor recommended a blood test to screen for a rare liver condition that could cause the itching. She said it was unlikely I had it (1 in 1,000), but good to check. Her last words to me were “all your plans (ECV at 37 weeks, delivery at 39 weeks) will go out the window if the tests come back positive.” Well, that night I received a call from my doctor. I had cholestasis of pregnancy and would need to deliver in two days.  

Delivery Day (edits by Ben)

Delivery & Hospital Stay

1. We had less than 48 hours notice to prepare for our baby’s arrival (Thursday night - Saturday afternoon). I spent the first ~12 hours in shock and a bit worried given the seriousness of the diagnosis. We went to the hospital Thursday night for a steroid shot and fetal monitoring. I talked to my doctor again around 10 pm and she reassured us that even though this was a serious condition we’d be fine waiting until Saturday to deliver.

I fell asleep easily and then woke in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. I couldn’t sleep after that, so I called my sister Karen. I also made a to-do list of everything I needed to get done at work and at home before delivery. On Friday morning, I woke up feeling less shocked and snapped into action. We felt at peace from Friday onwards and slept great Friday evening before our Saturday delivery.

2. Somehow, strangely, Enya’s song “Echos in Rain” became the theme song of this whole experience:

“Echoes in rain

Drifting in waves

Long journey home

Never too late

Black as a crow

Night comes again

Everything flows

Here comes another new day”

I hadn’t listened to Enya in ages, but turned on her music during my semi-sleepless Thursday night and found this song for the first time. I later read that the song celebrates the anticipation of a journey’s end so it was fitting.

3. Ben compared a scheduled c-section to boarding a flight. We knew the exact time of arrival of our baby / departure from our old life as a family of three. There wasn’t the same uncertainty and climatic buildup to delivery we experienced with Leo. We were well rested. I experienced zero contractions. I didn’t feel nervous until right as I was wheeled into the theatre for the operation. I then reminded myself of my three mantras for this experience:

• Relax
• Everything is temporary 
• You can do hard things

The mantras worked. I used them a few other times through Annika’s childbirth and newborn experience.

4. No one wants a premature delivery, but it was the only cure for cholestatis. I delivered on a Saturday and by Tuesday my bloodwork was normal again. I knew the condition could be fatal (i.e. stillbirth) if left untreated, but didn’t let myself dwell on this, especially before delivery. One interesting fact I read after delivery: women with Scandinavian (particularly Swedish), Indian, Pakistani or Chilean backgrounds are more likely to develop it. So my Scandinavian heritage has a downside. After delivery, I also remembered that a doctor told me after a January 2020 physical that two of my liver enzymes were a little high meaning I could have non-alcoholic fatty liver disease. He said the best way to control is it through a healthy diet, which I did through most of 2020. I didn’t give this much thought in 2021, including after I got pregnant… but it all seems linked now.

5. Our hospital stay was much better this time around. I remember being constantly interrupted last time. I could barely sleep an hour without someone coming in the room. The maternity ward is now very controlled with fewer people on the floor due to the pandemic. So, we were rarely interrupted. The doctor and pediatrician each came once a day and the nurses came on demand. But no one else stopped by, which made for a peaceful stay. 

I had one night of PTSD in the hospital on Night 3. Annika had cluster fed most of Night 2, which I was prepared for. But when she was restless and feeding most of Night 3 again I wasn’t able to sleep until 3 am. I wondered if my sleep issues would come back, but it was more of one night of PTSD remembering my experience from last time. Thankfully we’ve both been relatively good sleepers since that night.

6. We moved to a new (to us) house and brought home a new baby on the same day. I do not recommend this. Our plan was to move from a two-bedroom apartment to a four-bedroom villa down the street weeks before our baby arrived. Our villa needed a lot of work, which was supposed to take two months (June and July). It ended up stretching into mid-August. Annika ended up coming four weeks early on Saturday and our move was originally scheduled for Sunday. We pushed the move to Wednesday so that Leo could be in a comfortable house while his parents were away at the hospital. 

7. My gratitude for our incredible doctor continues to grow. She did so much for me following Leo’s birth to help with my physical and mental recovery. This time she did so much to ensure a safe delivery for Annika. I am forever grateful for her expertise. 

Newborn

1. Ben and I struggled with girls names, but found the perfect name for our girl. For years we both liked the name Annika. One problem: there’s a similar sounding swear word in Arabic (e.g. think of guy named Facu living in an English speaking place). I assumed we wouldn’t use the name while living in Dubai. However, Ben believed we should do whatever we want… especially since we won’t live in Dubai forever. We explored alternatives, but never found another name both of us liked as much. So Annika it was. The name is a nod to my Scandinavian roots and an indirect variation of Andrea. We intended to call her Annie, but Annika has really stuck so far and suits her. We do like the name’s flexibility over time (Annika, Annie, Anne, Anna).

Annika’s middle name (Ruth) is a family name from Ben’s side. His mom’s middle name is Ruth and his grandma’s first name is Ruth. If we’re being 100% honest, the name idea actually comes from Ruth Bader Ginsburg (RBG), the late supreme court justice. One afternoon Ben and I were chatting about how we wanted our daughter to be a strong woman. We brainstormed lots of inspirational women to see if we liked any of the names for our daughter. We both thought of RBG and then loved it because Ruth also is a nod to Ben’s mom (the woman who raised Ben to be more of a feminist than his own wife) and grandma (“the sweetest lady”). Here are a few RBG quotes that we hope Annika one day embodies:

"Fight for the things that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you.”

"I would like to be remembered as someone who used whatever talent she had to do her work to the very best of her ability.”

“My mother told me to be a lady. And for her, that meant be your own person, be independent.”

2. We had to go through the newborn gauntlet with Leo to be calm, experienced parents with Annika. Experience really is the greatest teacher. So many things that were a struggle with Leo’s newborn experience were non-issues this time around. My c-section recovery was way easier than my pubis symphysis injury recovery. I’m getting better sleep now almost every night (i.e. 7-9 cumulative hours per 24 hours) with a newborn than I did towards the end of this pregnancy. That’s also a far cry from developing postpartum insomnia with Leo. I was very hormonal, emotional, and anxious after Leo was born for weeks. I have felt like my usual self pretty much ever since Annika was born. We struggled with simple things like getting a birth certificate and passport last time. This time the process was extra automated (thank you, Covid). In the end, we were anti-fragile coming out of the last experience. It didn’t break us; it made us stronger. 

3. Six weeks is not a long enough maternity leave, but 3 - 4 months feels about right. Another lesson learned from last time: I was in no state to return to work after 6 weeks and that added pressure probably caused my sleep collapse and anxiety. This time around I told my work not to expect me back until January.  Maybe because things are smoother this time around or because there’s no pressure to return instantly, I actually felt like I could’ve gone back at six weeks. My plan is still to take a longer leave, but go back full-time around 3 months.

4. Annika and I are a good “nursing couple.” I read a La Leche League book during pregnancy to actually prepare this time around in hopes of a smoother breastfeeding experience. It gave me more knowledge, patience, and zen. Annika latched fairly easily after birth and we were in sync by the time we left the hospital. She’s a true breastfed baby who doesn’t like pacifiers or bottles (she finally took her first bottle successfully at six weeks after a few unsuccessful attempts).

5. The hardest adjustment after Annika’s birth has been parenting a toddler going through changes. Annika’s arrival was a big change for Leo.  On top of this, we moved houses, he started school, one of his two best friends moved far away, and other changes took place at the same time.  He has also been sick almost every week the past 1.5 months since starting nursery school three mornings a week. I have spent a lot of my maternity leave learning a new approach for handling toddler emotions. At this point (Annika is 8 weeks), I would say Leo is fairly adjusted to having a new sister and sweet with her. 

6. Ben and I sleep in separate bedrooms for the first time in our marriage. We made a deal that I get up all night with Annika but then I can sleep in as late as I want…and Ben can sleep through the night, but he wakes up with Leo every morning (typically around 6 am). Now that we have a villa, we have plenty of space for Ben to have a room, Leo to have his own room, and me, Jack-Jack, and Annika to have a room. It’s a temporary arrangement but maximizes sleep for everyone. And Jack-Jack has never been happier to have me to himself at night.

7. Annika is a dream baby. It’s not just my motherly bias, but she really is a great baby. She nurses very well. Sleeps very well. She has a sweet, observant disposition. She has her witching hour in the evening (typically starts around 5 pm) and cries when babies cry (waking up, when she’s hungry, etc.)… but is generally very pleasant. We are so glad she is part of our family!